When you have kids, your world revolves around them. You want to protect them, you want to save them from mean kids, you want to help them get friends, you want to protect them from getting their feelings hurt, etc. I am so upset today!!! But I know it's just me wanting to protect my kids.
Alright background story for this Vent.... When we had the twins, we stayed in our cave. We didn't go to church for the longest time, every time we would end up going, within a week all our kids were sick. The twins ending up with the bulk of the sickness. I have told people, I can literally count how many times we have been to church since our twins arrived :) But do you know what's the most interesting thing? When you become "inactive" you really see the true colors of your "friends." Friends- If you had asked me before we had the twins to play a bet on if we were to become inactive, who would continue as a friend even outside the gospel.... I would have put money down on certain people. WOW had my eyes changed after having the twins! And today was so frustrating!
Alexis is now in Sunbeams. She made the cut off by 3 days to go up to primary. She has been having the hardest time with it, so I decided I would get involved to help her out. I am now one of the Sunbeam teachers :) I am totally excited about it. But today broke my heart. While in Primary they sang a Birthday song to the kids having birthdays this week. One of whom was in her sunbeam class. The kids afterwards while in class talked about the birthday party he was having this week. (No my daughter was not invited.) This little boys' mom was one of those whom I would have put money down on before the twins came, but has since shown her colors. She is nice to me in church when she sees me, but that is about as far as it goes. (Crazy how things change) Anyway, there are lots of reasons I could be blowing this way out of proportion-- Maybe we weren't home when they came to bring Alexis an invitation, maybe they are having the party in a specific place that can only hold a certain number of kids, maybe it's in the mail and just hasn't reached out house yet, OR maybe my kid just isn't "active" enough to be invited! Rawr! I am so irritated at this!
It seems dumb to get this upset at a birthday party, but Alexis talked to me about the entire trip home from church. Asking if she could go-(I of course told her she could go,,,,,I know she will forget about it which is my saving grace at this point).
I talked to my sister Katie about it after we got home. She of course suggested talking to this boys mom, but even then,,, I don't want to call and complain about my daughter not getting invited, just to end up getting an invitation- I wouldn't go at that point anyway!!!!!!! Augh! I wish I hadn't started going to sunbeams until next week!!!! Not knowing would have made me much better off!!!!!!!
Sep 14, 2008
Venting Session
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4 comments:
Okay, my stupid neighbors woke us up and now I can't get back to sleep, so that's why I am commenting at 2 a.m!
Sometimes I feel just like you about the people in our ward. I hate when people act fake or passive aggressive. I thought the church teaches to love everyone, and treat everyone how you would like to be treated. Judging just isn't our place.
Let's hope that kids mom didn't invite your daughter for any judgemental reasons. I guess the only thing you can do is be a good example to her on being kind, and loving.
Good luck! :)
Valarie, I can not even tell you how much I feel your pain. Not in the same way but they whole being treated different after becoming "inactive". You and Quinn are the only two real friend I ever had at that church. After I had become inactive you are the only two who have not judged me and remained my friends and accepted me for who I was. And I can't tell you what that means to me. I feel so bad for you going through this, and they fact that they are taking it out on a child who has done nothing. I always thought that if anything, someone became inactive, you should reach out even more to them. I guess everyone is just different. Be grateful for your family and your real friends. We love you no matter what ;-)
Oh Valarie, I can't say I know how you feel in that situation because my daughter is still young but I know what you mean when you want to protect your kids. I have found it hard when kids aren't including Kyla (she is only two and doesn't even realize it) but it does kind of hurt. If this lady didn't invite you for reasons because of inactivity or whatever she is in the wrong. Don't let her judgement change your views on the church because you and I both know that is not what we are taught, to judge people based on their activity. It is so easy to get offended but it's not the church that offends us it is the people that choose to make un-Christlike decisions. (is un-Christlike even a word:)) I love ya tons and hope everything works out.
I'm hoping that she didn't get invited because it was an all boy party? And I totally get the whole protecting your kids thing- My husband call me a mother bear sometimes when I'm mad when someone has treated my kid badly! I thought I was more concerned and noticed what was going on with more people at church but as my kids get older (my oldest is now 10) I am realizing that I don't have time for as many people as I used to. Maybe that is this ladies problem. . . she is too wrapped up in her own family and her own problem to realize that she has neglected you. Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt.
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