I find myself constantly following specific blogs recently. They are not friends of mine, nor do I know them at all, but they are living my biggest fear. A while back I was cruising through a friends' blog when I saw a small story regarding a friend of a friend. Of course being the nosey person I am, I was curious and went to Molly's blog to read more about it. Warning, don't go to this site unless you have a box of tissues handy!!! Molly lost her baby girl, Lucy, when she choked on an apple a week before her 2nd birthday. I follow her story even now. I constantly check her blog for her updates on her life, how she is coping and dealing with her and her husband's loss. Molly is living my biggest fear! I have find myself laying in bed at night playing different scenarios- what if someone breaks into our home, what's the fastest way I can get to the kids and get them to safety. If there's a fire, how can I get to my kids and get them out of the house. If there's a shooting in my neighborhood, where can I take my kids to keep them out of danger. I, for the longest time, would lay in bed thinking of a stretch of road that has water on one side.... wondering if for some reason my car goes into the water, how am I going to get all 3 kids out of their car seats and to safety? (I no longer drive down that road, I take the long way around.) This is so not normal! And I get that, but I can't figure out how to stop mind from constantly thinking.
After reading Molly's blog, I will not give my twins apples... they will deal with applesauce until they are older.
I read another person's blog, who lost their little boy while he was in his crib, he got a hold of the cord attached to the blinds and it got wrapped around his neck. I immediately moved Hailey's crib to the other side of the room.
I just read one today of a 3.5 year old girl who climbed into her parents car and wasn't found for 30 mins, and died of heat exhaustion. When Drew got home I told him about it, and discussed how we will never let an opportunity like that happen.
There are so many family's out there that have had tragic accidents. I am in constant fear of something happening to my children. I could not be as strong as these other family's are. It overwhelms me on almost a daily basis. It's got to be somewhat normal as a mom to worry about things, but I am concerned that I do it far more then a 'normal' person would. My payers and thoughts are with those families that have lost their baby. I am trying to learn from those tragic accidents and hopefully can keep those things from happening to my babies.
Sep 2, 2008
My Worry,,, My Fear,,,My Thoughts
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8 comments:
oh my goodness! I often find myself doing the same thing. Not being able to sleep at night cause my mind won't shut off about what ifs, etc. But it's better to beautiius and paranoid at times than to have something happen. My heart aches for those that have lost their children and I too am amazed at their strength in dealing with it when I know I would find it hard to go on. Great thoughts. I think you summed it up for every mother out there... Or at least me ;)
Don't feel too abnormal-- I think we all have these thoughts and feelings from time to time. I always think that I wouldn't be able to survive a tragedy like that, so better to be safe than sorry. Good for you and your vigilance.
wow, I give my baby apples!! Oh dear, I guess sometimes you just think oh that won't happen to me but it can! Thanks for informing me on those things I will definitely be more careful.
Thank You for your sweet comment. It's awful what we have gone through; and so many others have gone through, to lose a child. It's the hardest thing that any mother could be called to do, but with it comes love, compassion and sympathty. These traits are now something I would never give up. What a beautiful family.
James' mom
just a head's up. little lucy choked on a piece of apple that was the size of molly's fingernail. small. jeff (dr. z) absolutely forbids apples and most raw fruits/veggies for his grandkids. so scary. and i'm sorry you are struggling with these fears so much. tells me how much you love your kids though.
Oh my gosh! I found someone who's as paranoid as I am!! ;) Don't worry, I'm sure it's a mom thing (at least that's what I tell myself). I guess all we can do is trust in the Lord and know that He has a plan for each one of us. That can be soooo hard to do when it comes to your children though! But I take comfort in knowing that He is watching over us and our families and no matter what, everything is in His hands.
Rachel, I had no idea it was that small!!!! I am so scared of my kids choking, and me not being able to do anything if they did choke! I have taken first aid and cpr just as a precaution, but am still so worried about that happening!! Nice to know that even a doctor doesn't want his grandkids to have those foods... Tell Jeff hi from me!!!
Don't worry, all of us Moms do the same thing to some degree! : ) I read Molly's blog myself and couldn't keep from crying. It reminds me though that we just have to have faith and know that we are in the Lord's hands and that there is an eternal plan for each of us. I had to post a blog about it though because it struck me so much! But remember that you we all have our eternal family that extends so much further than our immediate family, because we are all brothers and sisters,and we will one day all return home together.
On a lighter note, great to hear from you! Looks like you are doing good (besides primary frustrations;) - thanks for the compliment on my design site. Feel free to send any new parents my way! :) ttys and take care!
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